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The NoPhone: did it make its funding goals? Of course it did.


Clever trick will safeguard Apple Watch from thieves: read the comments. “Great, now thieves will cut off people’s arms.” *rolls eyes* Love this response: “I can just imagine someone at Walmart trying to pay using the watch attached to a severed arm they brought in a plastic bag. No problem, have a nice day sir….”


UroClub: what the holy hell. “Created by a Board Certified Urologist?” Why is that relevant?!


What should I watch out for when fighting a chimpanzee?: HOLY FUCK!


Namez: it’s a good problem to attack, as I’m sure a huge portion of the population has difficult-to-pronounce names. However, it’s a longstanding problem that people have been working around for forever, no one would ever pay for this service, and people with hard-to-pronounce names are more likely to have thicker accents that make their recorded pronunciations hard to understand—compounding the problem.


Two Dollar Club: $15 for $10 worth of two dollar bills. At least the roll of quarters had some heft to it that might justify a premium. $5 to mail what would cost 44¢?! The bigger mystery to me is why someone would opt for $300/month plan (you get 100 $2 bills). Delivery by courier merits $100 over face value?

Washboard: $15/month for a $10 roll of quarters delivered automatically. One problem: the chronically lazy with more money than brains probably don’t schlep their clothes to a laundromat—they just buy new clothes.


Vessyl: this is an amazing technology that’s solving a problem no one has. “What am I drinking?” Read the bottle or can. “How much am I drinking?” Figure out how many ounces your glass is, make a tick mark (|) after each glass, and then multiply the tick marks by the number of ounces. “How many calories am I consuming?” Same thing, but read the bottle or can for the number of calories per serving. I just saved you $99 (preorder) or $199 (later).


Great Horror Campout: holy moly! I’d go for this except for the Tucker & Dale problem. Also, unstoppable music.


Inside Heiress Huguette Clark’s California Mansion, Frozen in Time for 60 Years: no one from the family has visited in sixty-one years.


Oprah Interested in Buying Clippers: “The Oracle chief has had basketball courts on at least two of his yachts, said Tom Ehman, who handles America’s Cup matters for Mr. Ellison. He said Mr. Ellison liked to relax by shooting hoops on these courts, and has had someone in a powerboat following the yacht to retrieve balls that go overboard.” Whoa.


Kim Jong-un executes security minister by FLAME THROWER: bloodthirsty dictators need to get creative to stay engaged. Mortar round? Come on, that’s the province of the bored.


S01E07 Miss Ping (Tumba Ping Pong Show): this was mystifying to me, until I found this video detailing how it’s done.

Tower Climbers working: so very, very hard to watch.


Buying Cheap Property In Detroit: I wondered about this. Sounds like a war zone.


Kidz Bop Kids – Thrift Shop Macklemore Cover: “This has more dislikes than views.”


Prancercise Highlights: wow. I’m just stunned. (It’s better with a unicorn mask.)


Riker sits down: given the height of those chairs, it seems pretty fluid but you’ll quickly notice that no one else does that.


Clear for Mac + Leap Motion: I don’t know. This seems like more work than clicking on a checkbox.


12 Letters That Didn’t Make the Alphabet: talk about dodging a bullet! English is difficult enough as it is—these guys would have made it dreadful.


Anonymous Attacks Westboro Baptist Church Over Plans to Picket Sandy Hook Funerals: something about “two wrongs” springs to mind. Free speech must still be defended, no matter how vile the speaker

Unusual baby names of 2012: I was going to say that there’s no way that anyone named their baby boy “Google” but nothing surprises me any longer when it comes to people.


American Baby Names Are Somehow Getting Even Worse: my name—Bill Brown—is so boring but I absolutely love the simplicity of two syllables.


Man completes triathlon – juggling: come on, only two balls while biking?! You can do better than that.


I might regret asking this, but Reddit break out those throwaway accounts because if you could be brutally honest with your SO what would you say?: yowza.


Fetus Soap: no, not something to clean your fetus. Just click. {via}


Throwaway time! What’s your secret that could literally ruin your life if it came out?: chilling stuff.


Google Maps Floor Plans: I could see retail locations participating in this, but who else would?!


LaunchRock: this is bubblicious.


Teenage Mutant Ninja Noses: I hope this never turns into the arrow in the FedEx logo for me—meaning I can’t not see it when I look. {via}


Climbing Red Gates in Moscow: chilling and nauseating.


Berkshire triple murder suspect arrested: once you’ve done that to your face, you have to go “entrpreneurial” as no one is going to hire you.


When Bieber Fans Read The Onion: heaven help us.


Gold Coins – The Mystery of the Double Eagle: utterly fascinating.


The Mindset List: 2015 List: man, I feel old. {via}


How to get $12 billion of gold to Venezuela: the proper response to a dictator trying to get his inflation hedge as he simultaneously tries to wreck his economy? “The gold stays put.”


Roswell Martians Might Have Been Nazi Kids From Mengele’s Lab: that crazy Stalin.


Birthing Dolls: this is why I have a category called WTF on this blog.


Police Brutality at the Silent Flashmob at the Jefferson Memorial: this is really hard to watch, especially given that it transpires in a shrine to our most liberty-loving Founding Father.


CarLashes: oh no, they didn’t. {via}


6 Things From History Everyone Pictures Incorrectly: the painted Greek statue thing kills me every time.


Yvette’s Wedding Dresses Panama City Florida Yvette’s Yvette’s: yowza! I guess that’s one way to do SEO.


Because Every Country Is The Best At Something: what kind of sick bastards would reduce the United States to “being best” at producing serial killers?!


Spiders, Scorpions, and Crawlies: holy crap! I hate bugs for exactly this reason—who needs that kind of aggravation?

Gas pads by Subtle Butt – Disposable Gas Neutralizers: uhh. Wait, wha? Uhh. {via}


“Five things that could topple Facebooks empire”: it was kind of a linkbait article to begin with but completely blew any credibility with number four.


poopsenders: proving that there ain’t no niche small enough that someone won’t fill it. {via}


What’s Wrong With This Picture?: yikes.


Stealing login details with a Google Chrome extension: man, just when I made Chrome my default browser…


The Fat Monkey: missing bacon, so pass.


“Many English speakers cannot understand basic grammar”: sad, but true. Grammar, like history, is one of those really lively subjects that are taught dryly and concrete-boundedly.


FAB-U-LOUS!: “I find your lack of pink disturbing.”


Tax Time!: wow, that’s faster than I would have expected. I guess “too soon?” will soon be said on the same day as the event.


Would You Have Spotted the Fraud?: no, I wouldn’t have. That is why I rarely use ATMs.


“Another Challenge for Ethical Eating – Plants Want to Live, Too”: I fully support those who would be persuaded by this sort of thing in their quest to abstain from eating anything.


Christian Side Hug: O. M. G. W. T. F. {via}


Regretsy: showcasing the shadowy, unfortunate side of handmade products. (Also, see Etsy WTF.)


Sniper Sniper!: uhh, practical jokes don’t generally end with needing to change your underwear.


Peanut Butter and Bacon Cookies: I’m intrigued and horrified at the same time. Mostly intrigued.


Liu Bolin: very well done camouflaging, but I have a problem calling it art.


Glenn Beck Raped and Murdered a Young Girl in 1990: I smell a nice libel suit from this one. I guess if you can’t combat his appeal, you’re forced to rely on insinuation and slander.

[UPDATE (9/11/2009): Sure enough.]


Tampon Crafts: uhh, no thank you.

Google Maps Street View of Kidnappers House: you can see the van in the driveway and if you start heading south on Walnut Avenue while looking north, you’ll see him following the Google Street View car. It’s, um, rather chilling—as is the whole story, of course. {via}


“Getting Fat? Blame the Recession”: so if the recession was caused by global warming then global warming made me fat. And if I get fat, then I make global warming worse. That means we are destined to be poor, fat, starving, and hot. *rolls eyes*

7/18/2009 Contract: now it’s been a while since I bought frozen ham but isn’t $595,600 per pound a little much? Maybe it’ll create a lot of jobs…


“Another Security Tip for Twitter: Don’t Use ‘password’ As Your Password”: I’m am stunned by this. I apply 100 times that level of rigor with my own personal passwords.


Man Babies: blog featuring photos with the father and child’s faces reversed. It’s bizarre, creepy, but also strangely fascinating.


People Who Sit In The Disability Seats When I’m Standing On My Crutches: documenting passive-aggressive non-confrontation on public transit. Ohhh, it’s about the people sitting. I love the domain name, at any rate.


Tax Information for Parents of Kidnapped Children: consider this my timely public service for my readers whose children have been kidnapped by non-family. You’re welcome!


Baconnaise: for those times when straight mayonnaise isn’t enough. Improbably, also available in “lite.”


Dinosaurs Fucking Robots: it’s exactly what you’d expect, you sicko. Probably NSFW.


Soft Paws: stunned, I am.

Wizrocklopedia: blog about wizard rock. In other news, there is such a thing as “wizard rock.” {via}


This is why you’re fat: oh my goodness. My stomach is churning just looking at some of these pictures.


Feltron Eight: the latest news from Nicholas Felton. His is the exact opposite of “an unexamined life.”


“A two-year-old smoking”: I’d think it was staged were it not for the other pictures in the sequence. {via}


Thats My Face: this is going to be huge within the stalker community.


“All Apologies”: what an ass. I’ve encountered scolds who think they need to explain how you should behave, but I’ve never seen anything written by one.


How to Live in Your Car: I’ll keep this one handy in case the economy truly does come crashing down.


“France to halt games when anthem is booed”: “We cannot tolerate our Marseillaise being jeered.” Oh those surrender monkeys, so quick to offend. {via}


We Are Scheduled: check out the slideshow at the bottom. It’s one of those week-by-week views of pregnant belly growth except she’s carrying five babies. Congratulations and all, but how can your back support that!?!


Troops to Teachers: allows soldiers to transition from active combat duty to urban combat duty without the hassle of certification. Uh huh, does this sound like a bad idea to anyone else besides me?


Cupcake Car: yeah, still not helping me to get people. {via}

Leek Spin: yeah, I don’t get people. I really don’t.

You Fell Asleep Watching a DVD: must’ve been a labor of love. Otherwise, I have no idea why someone would have made this (or registered the domain). {via}


“Airport ‘X-ray art’ courts TSA trouble”: in other words, how to miss a flight without even trying. {via}


Couric Stumps Palin with Supreme Court Question: Personally, I would have come back all smart-assed with “Y’know, Katie, I’ve never been fond of Plessy. SCOTUS really screwed the pooch on those.” I definitely think there’s something to this “gotcha journalism” charge. But I can name eleven decisions off the top of my head, after the jump, to varying degrees of judicial precision. (more…)

5 Friends: continuing on the creepy theme… {via}

Sing for Change: I’m not sure whether its the vapidity of the lyrics, the fervent cheering of the adults at the conclusion, or the children as pawns but this video gives me the willies. {via}


“Cindy McCain takes the wheel in her own race”: uhhh, wha? She’s into drifting, so much so that she and her son placed 2nd in an amateur competition. Speechless. {via}


Google Moderator: sort of like Stack Overflow but for anything and not really.

“PETA Urges Ben & Jerry’s To Use Human Milk”: they’re becoming a caricature of themselves. Yay!


How can anyone live like this?: holy crap. Holy, holy crap. *retch*


Palin Bags a Bigfoot: I think it might be Photoshopped though. (Side note: didn’t WWN stop publication?)




The Real Walter Reed: the building behind McCain during his acceptance speech was Walter Reed Middle School not Walter Reed Medical Center. It’s really hard to believe that such a mistake could occur.


“Lefty Bloggers Go After Palin’s Daughter”: the liberals show their true colors in taking their smear tactics and conspiracy theories a little deeper into the Palin household. So repulsive. {via}


VPilf: oh my. {via}


“These Olympics are unreal”: funny yet sad but true. At least the writer wasn’t carted off to a labor camp for applying to protest at one of the designated protest areas, for which no application was approved.


“We need a black Google”: this is just terrible, absolutely terrible.