Man completes triathlon – juggling: come on, only two balls while biking?! You can do better than that.

I might regret asking this, but Reddit break out those throwaway accounts because if you could be brutally honest with your SO what would you say?: yowza.

Fetus Soap: no, not something to clean your fetus. Just click. {via}

Throwaway time! What’s your secret that could literally ruin your life if it came out?: chilling stuff.

Google Maps Floor Plans: I could see retail locations participating in this, but who else would?!

LaunchRock: this is bubblicious.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Noses: I hope this never turns into the arrow in the FedEx logo for me—meaning I can’t not see it when I look. {via}

Climbing Red Gates in Moscow: chilling and nauseating.

Berkshire triple murder suspect arrested: once you’ve done that to your face, you have to go “entrpreneurial” as no one is going to hire you.

When Bieber Fans Read The Onion: heaven help us.

Gold Coins – The Mystery of the Double Eagle: utterly fascinating.

The Mindset List: 2015 List: man, I feel old. {via}

How to get $12 billion of gold to Venezuela: the proper response to a dictator trying to get his inflation hedge as he simultaneously tries to wreck his economy? “The gold stays put.”

Roswell Martians Might Have Been Nazi Kids From Mengele’s Lab: that crazy Stalin.

Birthing Dolls: this is why I have a category called WTF on this blog.

Police Brutality at the Silent Flashmob at the Jefferson Memorial: this is really hard to watch, especially given that it transpires in a shrine to our most liberty-loving Founding Father.

CarLashes: oh no, they didn’t. {via}

6 Things From History Everyone Pictures Incorrectly: the painted Greek statue thing kills me every time.

Yvette’s Wedding Dresses Panama City Florida Yvette’s Yvette’s: yowza! I guess that’s one way to do SEO.

Because Every Country Is The Best At Something: what kind of sick bastards would reduce the United States to “being best” at producing serial killers?!

Spiders, Scorpions, and Crawlies: holy crap! I hate bugs for exactly this reason—who needs that kind of aggravation?

Gas pads by Subtle Butt – Disposable Gas Neutralizers: uhh. Wait, wha? Uhh. {via}

“Five things that could topple Facebooks empire”: it was kind of a linkbait article to begin with but completely blew any credibility with number four.

poopsenders: proving that there ain’t no niche small enough that someone won’t fill it. {via}

What’s Wrong With This Picture?: yikes.

Stealing login details with a Google Chrome extension: man, just when I made Chrome my default browser…

The Fat Monkey: missing bacon, so pass.

“Many English speakers cannot understand basic grammar”: sad, but true. Grammar, like history, is one of those really lively subjects that are taught dryly and concrete-boundedly.

FAB-U-LOUS!: “I find your lack of pink disturbing.”

Tax Time!: wow, that’s faster than I would have expected. I guess “too soon?” will soon be said on the same day as the event.

Would You Have Spotted the Fraud?: no, I wouldn’t have. That is why I rarely use ATMs.

“Another Challenge for Ethical Eating – Plants Want to Live, Too”: I fully support those who would be persuaded by this sort of thing in their quest to abstain from eating anything.

Christian Side Hug: O. M. G. W. T. F. {via}

Regretsy: showcasing the shadowy, unfortunate side of handmade products. (Also, see Etsy WTF.)

Sniper Sniper!: uhh, practical jokes don’t generally end with needing to change your underwear.

Peanut Butter and Bacon Cookies: I’m intrigued and horrified at the same time. Mostly intrigued.

Liu Bolin: very well done camouflaging, but I have a problem calling it art.

Glenn Beck Raped and Murdered a Young Girl in 1990: I smell a nice libel suit from this one. I guess if you can’t combat his appeal, you’re forced to rely on insinuation and slander.

[UPDATE (9/11/2009): Sure enough.]

Tampon Crafts: uhh, no thank you.

Google Maps Street View of Kidnappers House: you can see the van in the driveway and if you start heading south on Walnut Avenue while looking north, you’ll see him following the Google Street View car. It’s, um, rather chilling—as is the whole story, of course. {via}

“Getting Fat? Blame the Recession”: so if the recession was caused by global warming then global warming made me fat. And if I get fat, then I make global warming worse. That means we are destined to be poor, fat, starving, and hot. *rolls eyes*

Recovery.gov Contract: now it’s been a while since I bought frozen ham but isn’t $595,600 per pound a little much? Maybe it’ll create a lot of jobs…

“Another Security Tip for Twitter: Don’t Use ‘password’ As Your Password”: I’m am stunned by this. I apply 100 times that level of rigor with my own personal passwords.

Man Babies: blog featuring photos with the father and child’s faces reversed. It’s bizarre, creepy, but also strangely fascinating.

People Who Sit In The Disability Seats When I’m Standing On My Crutches: documenting passive-aggressive non-confrontation on public transit. Ohhh, it’s about the people sitting. I love the domain name, at any rate.

Tax Information for Parents of Kidnapped Children: consider this my timely public service for my readers whose children have been kidnapped by non-family. You’re welcome!

Baconnaise: for those times when straight mayonnaise isn’t enough. Improbably, also available in “lite.”

Dinosaurs Fucking Robots: it’s exactly what you’d expect, you sicko. Probably NSFW.

Soft Paws: stunned, I am.

Wizrocklopedia: blog about wizard rock. In other news, there is such a thing as “wizard rock.” {via}

This is why you’re fat: oh my goodness. My stomach is churning just looking at some of these pictures.

Feltron Eight: the latest news from Nicholas Felton. His is the exact opposite of “an unexamined life.”

“A two-year-old smoking”: I’d think it was staged were it not for the other pictures in the sequence. {via}

Thats My Face: this is going to be huge within the stalker community.

“All Apologies”: what an ass. I’ve encountered scolds who think they need to explain how you should behave, but I’ve never seen anything written by one.

How to Live in Your Car: I’ll keep this one handy in case the economy truly does come crashing down.

“France to halt games when anthem is booed”: “We cannot tolerate our Marseillaise being jeered.” Oh those surrender monkeys, so quick to offend. {via}

We Are Scheduled: check out the slideshow at the bottom. It’s one of those week-by-week views of pregnant belly growth except she’s carrying five babies. Congratulations and all, but how can your back support that!?!

Troops to Teachers: allows soldiers to transition from active combat duty to urban combat duty without the hassle of certification. Uh huh, does this sound like a bad idea to anyone else besides me?

Cupcake Car: yeah, still not helping me to get people. {via}

Leek Spin: yeah, I don’t get people. I really don’t.

You Fell Asleep Watching a DVD: must’ve been a labor of love. Otherwise, I have no idea why someone would have made this (or registered the domain). {via}

“Airport ‘X-ray art’ courts TSA trouble”: in other words, how to miss a flight without even trying. {via}

Couric Stumps Palin with Supreme Court Question: Personally, I would have come back all smart-assed with “Y’know, Katie, I’ve never been fond of Plessy. SCOTUS really screwed the pooch on those.” I definitely think there’s something to this “gotcha journalism” charge. But I can name eleven decisions off the top of my head, after the jump, to varying degrees of judicial precision. (more…)

5 Friends: continuing on the creepy theme… {via}

Sing for Change: I’m not sure whether its the vapidity of the lyrics, the fervent cheering of the adults at the conclusion, or the children as pawns but this video gives me the willies. {via}

“Cindy McCain takes the wheel in her own race”: uhhh, wha? She’s into drifting, so much so that she and her son placed 2nd in an amateur competition. Speechless. {via}

Google Moderator: sort of like Stack Overflow but for anything and not really.

“PETA Urges Ben & Jerry’s To Use Human Milk”: they’re becoming a caricature of themselves. Yay!

How can anyone live like this?: holy crap. Holy, holy crap. *retch*

Palin Bags a Bigfoot: I think it might be Photoshopped though. (Side note: didn’t WWN stop publication?)

Claremont HD: HOLY CRAP! I CAN BARELY WATCH THIS. {via}

The Real Walter Reed: the building behind McCain during his acceptance speech was Walter Reed Middle School not Walter Reed Medical Center. It’s really hard to believe that such a mistake could occur.

“Lefty Bloggers Go After Palin’s Daughter”: the liberals show their true colors in taking their smear tactics and conspiracy theories a little deeper into the Palin household. So repulsive. {via}

VPilf: oh my. {via}

“These Olympics are unreal”: funny yet sad but true. At least the writer wasn’t carted off to a labor camp for applying to protest at one of the designated protest areas, for which no application was approved.

“We need a black Google”: this is just terrible, absolutely terrible.

“The ‘Nuclear’ Option: Russia Threatens Poland Over U.S. Missile Shield”: HOLY SHIT. This part freaks me out: “He said the deal also includes a ‘mutual commitment’ between the two nations to come to each other’s assistance ‘in case of trouble.’” That certainly reminds me of “entangling alliances” and the last war they caused.

“PETA wants to advertise vegan message on border fence”: PETA, ever farcical, has become a parody of itself. Money quote: “We think that Mexicans and other immigrants should be warned if they cross into the U.S. they are putting their health at risk by leaving behind a healthier, staple diet of corn tortillas, beans, rice, fruits and vegetables.” Sorry, one more: “[the message] might even be frightening enough to deter people from crossing into the U.S.”

NiceCritic: passive-aggression goes Web 2.0.

The World According to Cuil: also Bill Gates.

[UPDATE: Umm, not even cuil? I'm not fond of using the cliché but this seems like the definition of EPIC FAIL.]

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Monica: I am so glad that YouTube wasn’t around when I made my first movie, Time Portal. It’s strangely compelling with an earnestness that seems to correspond with youth. You can just imagine them thinking this is great stuff. Highlights: at 4’39″, a special effect; at 8’00″, the climactic fight scene. What’s the backstory on the lack of shoes?

HCWDB – Caption This Pic: OMFG, something about this picture and the commentary it inspired had me laughing my ass off. Plus, I learned the term ‘manther.’

Republican Platform Committee: help craft the GOP’s platform by leaving your own carefully-constructed argument that will get completely lost in the din of sound bites and knee-jerk reaction. I can’t see how this could possibly go badly. {via}

“Dallas County meeting turns racial”: I find it hard to believe that anyone could be unfamiliar with the term “black hole.” I buy that someone might not know what “niggardly” meant, but this one’s ridiculous.

Voicemail from Dimitri: “audio scrotitude.” I’d bet money that she didn’t call him back. {via}

Firefox Add-on: STOP! Hammertime!: OMG, this is just what that button needed. I’m hoping that it’ll be baked into the browser by 3.5. {via}

Pampers Change ‘N’ Go: disgusting idea for diapers. You just slip a liner in and out, so you don’t have to change the diaper itself. You know, the one that’s soaked in piss for up to 12 hours. Plus, you don’t have to do all that interaction that goes on when changing the diaper fully.

Something Store: $10 gets you something. I’m trying to think of the market for this site: indecisive people with money but not enough stuff?

Dance Off with the Star Wars Stars 2008: wait for the third entrant, it’s worth it. Also, get a life, people. {via}

SUV Taken Out by F-16 in Utah: holy moly.

Gummi Lighthouses – When Candy Design Goes Terribly, Hilariously Wrong: wow, I can’t believe no one in the design and development phase noticed its resemblance.

“George Bush Chest Bumps Soldier”: if you needed any more evidence that Joe Sixpack can become President, here it is. {via}

The Voluntary Human Extinction Movement: yikes, what an awful premise! Though maybe the kind of people who would participate are exactly the ones that shouldn’t be reproducing. Hmm.

“I Will Derive”: OMG, nerd parody. {via}

World Naked Gardening Day: was on May 3rd. But really, shouldn’t every day be one for naked gardening? Am I right?

2girls1cup Review: and here’s page two. I don’t know: I think the boldness is worth more than a 0% even though the essay itself is utter PoMo garbage.

ManBabies: site featuring edited photos switching fathers’ heads with their children’s. Whoa.

Indian Baby Dropping Ritual: why hasn’t that caught on here in the states? I just don’t get it. {via}

Barbie Massacre: slightly gruesome. Seems like a waste of dolls, but maybe they buy in bulk. {via}