Found on the Web
We Surf So You Don't Have To


Pen-Pineapple-Apple-Pen/PIKO-TARO: 80 million views. 80 million.


FlossTime: a smart floss dispenser that 20x as expensive (or more if you just use what your dentist gives you). Just one more thing to make you feel bad when you’re looking at the mirror.


Ukulele Batman Vs. Bagpipe Superman – Theme Song Battle: whoa. {via}


China’s Enormous Derelict Shopping Mall Does Not Bode Well For Humanity’s Future: wow, that’s such a waste.


The World’s First Underwater Tennis Court Could Cost $2.5 Billion: no amount of assurances would convince me to be a spectator there.


flatev: Keurig for tortillas. Only $290 plus 90¢ per tortilla. Sigh.


Caminito del Rey: holy crap. And I thought that trail in China was death-defying! As scary as it is (boy howdy is it scary!), the sobering thought is that people built this in the first place.


Copter Mommy: sad and true. {via}


Squatty Potty: uh. Their marketing video doesn’t help.


I love the Victorian era. So I decided to live in it: uhh, a) I’m glad that these two found each other, b) they sound absolutely insufferable, and c) their story was written by her on a Web site that, by all rights, they should have no idea even exists. Of course they have their own Web site. Money line: “Not everyone necessarily wants to live the same lifestyle we have chosen, of course.” {via}


Currant Events: a blog dedicated to the goings-on of a MSNBC show’s plate of pastries. There’s also a Twitter account.


Fake A Baby: weird. {via}


Why drivers in China intentionally kill the pedestrians they hit: absolutely sickening. {via}


The World’s Best Travel Jacket: uhh, wanted $20K and got $8.7M with 10 hours left to go?! That is bananas!


Dismaland: I feel like they’ve really captured its essence.


Banksy Dismaland show revealed at Weston’s Tropicana: go visit nihilism-land and hate yourself!


At Amazon, Employees Treat the Bathroom as an Extension of the Office: never worked there but I’ve worked at places where people took and made calls from the bathroom.


Researcher makes himself into a GOAT with prosthetics to follow herd in the Alps: species is a social construction. “Funded by the government.” You don’t say! {via}


Vandals attack vacation home of dentist who killed Cecil: *smh*


How I Gave Up Alternating Current: perhaps unsurprising, the creator of Soylent is a kook. {via}


10 “Seinfeld” episodes that are racist and sexist in retrospect: an article about nothing. {via}


Velazquez v. City of Long Beach: Circuit Court decision provides a valuable piece of information (in footnote on last page of decision). Don’t express gratitude or temporal-based salutations in the courtroom of Rhode Island District Court Judge Smith. {via}


Wikipedian in Residence for Gender Equity: why is tuition so expensive? {via}


The NoPhone: did it make its funding goals? Of course it did.


Clever trick will safeguard Apple Watch from thieves: read the comments. “Great, now thieves will cut off people’s arms.” *rolls eyes* Love this response: “I can just imagine someone at Walmart trying to pay using the watch attached to a severed arm they brought in a plastic bag. No problem, have a nice day sir….”


UroClub: what the holy hell. “Created by a Board Certified Urologist?” Why is that relevant?!


What should I watch out for when fighting a chimpanzee?: HOLY FUCK!


Namez: it’s a good problem to attack, as I’m sure a huge portion of the population has difficult-to-pronounce names. However, it’s a longstanding problem that people have been working around for forever, no one would ever pay for this service, and people with hard-to-pronounce names are more likely to have thicker accents that make their recorded pronunciations hard to understand—compounding the problem.


Two Dollar Club: $15 for $10 worth of two dollar bills. At least the roll of quarters had some heft to it that might justify a premium. $5 to mail what would cost 44¢?! The bigger mystery to me is why someone would opt for $300/month plan (you get 100 $2 bills). Delivery by courier merits $100 over face value?

Washboard: $15/month for a $10 roll of quarters delivered automatically. One problem: the chronically lazy with more money than brains probably don’t schlep their clothes to a laundromat—they just buy new clothes.


Vessyl: this is an amazing technology that’s solving a problem no one has. “What am I drinking?” Read the bottle or can. “How much am I drinking?” Figure out how many ounces your glass is, make a tick mark (|) after each glass, and then multiply the tick marks by the number of ounces. “How many calories am I consuming?” Same thing, but read the bottle or can for the number of calories per serving. I just saved you $99 (preorder) or $199 (later).


Great Horror Campout: holy moly! I’d go for this except for the Tucker & Dale problem. Also, unstoppable music.


Inside Heiress Huguette Clark’s California Mansion, Frozen in Time for 60 Years: no one from the family has visited in sixty-one years.


Oprah Interested in Buying Clippers: “The Oracle chief has had basketball courts on at least two of his yachts, said Tom Ehman, who handles America’s Cup matters for Mr. Ellison. He said Mr. Ellison liked to relax by shooting hoops on these courts, and has had someone in a powerboat following the yacht to retrieve balls that go overboard.” Whoa.


Kim Jong-un executes security minister by FLAME THROWER: bloodthirsty dictators need to get creative to stay engaged. Mortar round? Come on, that’s the province of the bored.


S01E07 Miss Ping (Tumba Ping Pong Show): this was mystifying to me, until I found this video detailing how it’s done.

Tower Climbers working: so very, very hard to watch.


Buying Cheap Property In Detroit: I wondered about this. Sounds like a war zone.


Kidz Bop Kids – Thrift Shop Macklemore Cover: “This has more dislikes than views.”


Prancercise Highlights: wow. I’m just stunned. (It’s better with a unicorn mask.)


Riker sits down: given the height of those chairs, it seems pretty fluid but you’ll quickly notice that no one else does that.


Clear for Mac + Leap Motion: I don’t know. This seems like more work than clicking on a checkbox.


12 Letters That Didn’t Make the Alphabet: talk about dodging a bullet! English is difficult enough as it is—these guys would have made it dreadful.


Anonymous Attacks Westboro Baptist Church Over Plans to Picket Sandy Hook Funerals: something about “two wrongs” springs to mind. Free speech must still be defended, no matter how vile the speaker

Unusual baby names of 2012: I was going to say that there’s no way that anyone named their baby boy “Google” but nothing surprises me any longer when it comes to people.


American Baby Names Are Somehow Getting Even Worse: my name—Bill Brown—is so boring but I absolutely love the simplicity of two syllables.


Man completes triathlon – juggling: come on, only two balls while biking?! You can do better than that.


I might regret asking this, but Reddit break out those throwaway accounts because if you could be brutally honest with your SO what would you say?: yowza.


Fetus Soap: no, not something to clean your fetus. Just click. {via}


Throwaway time! What’s your secret that could literally ruin your life if it came out?: chilling stuff.


Google Maps Floor Plans: I could see retail locations participating in this, but who else would?!


LaunchRock: this is bubblicious.


Teenage Mutant Ninja Noses: I hope this never turns into the arrow in the FedEx logo for me—meaning I can’t not see it when I look. {via}


Climbing Red Gates in Moscow: chilling and nauseating.


Berkshire triple murder suspect arrested: once you’ve done that to your face, you have to go “entrpreneurial” as no one is going to hire you.


When Bieber Fans Read The Onion: heaven help us.


Gold Coins – The Mystery of the Double Eagle: utterly fascinating.


The Mindset List: 2015 List: man, I feel old. {via}


How to get $12 billion of gold to Venezuela: the proper response to a dictator trying to get his inflation hedge as he simultaneously tries to wreck his economy? “The gold stays put.”


Roswell Martians Might Have Been Nazi Kids From Mengele’s Lab: that crazy Stalin.


Birthing Dolls: this is why I have a category called WTF on this blog.


Police Brutality at the Silent Flashmob at the Jefferson Memorial: this is really hard to watch, especially given that it transpires in a shrine to our most liberty-loving Founding Father.


CarLashes: oh no, they didn’t. {via}


6 Things From History Everyone Pictures Incorrectly: the painted Greek statue thing kills me every time.


Yvette’s Wedding Dresses Panama City Florida Yvette’s Yvette’s: yowza! I guess that’s one way to do SEO.


Because Every Country Is The Best At Something: what kind of sick bastards would reduce the United States to “being best” at producing serial killers?!


Spiders, Scorpions, and Crawlies: holy crap! I hate bugs for exactly this reason—who needs that kind of aggravation?

Gas pads by Subtle Butt – Disposable Gas Neutralizers: uhh. Wait, wha? Uhh. {via}


“Five things that could topple Facebooks empire”: it was kind of a linkbait article to begin with but completely blew any credibility with number four.


poopsenders: proving that there ain’t no niche small enough that someone won’t fill it. {via}


What’s Wrong With This Picture?: yikes.


Stealing login details with a Google Chrome extension: man, just when I made Chrome my default browser…


The Fat Monkey: missing bacon, so pass.


“Many English speakers cannot understand basic grammar”: sad, but true. Grammar, like history, is one of those really lively subjects that are taught dryly and concrete-boundedly.


FAB-U-LOUS!: “I find your lack of pink disturbing.”


Tax Time!: wow, that’s faster than I would have expected. I guess “too soon?” will soon be said on the same day as the event.


Would You Have Spotted the Fraud?: no, I wouldn’t have. That is why I rarely use ATMs.


“Another Challenge for Ethical Eating – Plants Want to Live, Too”: I fully support those who would be persuaded by this sort of thing in their quest to abstain from eating anything.


Christian Side Hug: O. M. G. W. T. F. {via}


Regretsy: showcasing the shadowy, unfortunate side of handmade products. (Also, see Etsy WTF.)


Sniper Sniper!: uhh, practical jokes don’t generally end with needing to change your underwear.


Peanut Butter and Bacon Cookies: I’m intrigued and horrified at the same time. Mostly intrigued.


Liu Bolin: very well done camouflaging, but I have a problem calling it art.


Glenn Beck Raped and Murdered a Young Girl in 1990: I smell a nice libel suit from this one. I guess if you can’t combat his appeal, you’re forced to rely on insinuation and slander.

[UPDATE (9/11/2009): Sure enough.]


Tampon Crafts: uhh, no thank you.

Google Maps Street View of Kidnappers House: you can see the van in the driveway and if you start heading south on Walnut Avenue while looking north, you’ll see him following the Google Street View car. It’s, um, rather chilling—as is the whole story, of course. {via}


“Getting Fat? Blame the Recession”: so if the recession was caused by global warming then global warming made me fat. And if I get fat, then I make global warming worse. That means we are destined to be poor, fat, starving, and hot. *rolls eyes*

7/18/2009 Contract: now it’s been a while since I bought frozen ham but isn’t $595,600 per pound a little much? Maybe it’ll create a lot of jobs…


“Another Security Tip for Twitter: Don’t Use ‘password’ As Your Password”: I’m am stunned by this. I apply 100 times that level of rigor with my own personal passwords.


Man Babies: blog featuring photos with the father and child’s faces reversed. It’s bizarre, creepy, but also strangely fascinating.


People Who Sit In The Disability Seats When I’m Standing On My Crutches: documenting passive-aggressive non-confrontation on public transit. Ohhh, it’s about the people sitting. I love the domain name, at any rate.


Tax Information for Parents of Kidnapped Children: consider this my timely public service for my readers whose children have been kidnapped by non-family. You’re welcome!


Baconnaise: for those times when straight mayonnaise isn’t enough. Improbably, also available in “lite.”


Dinosaurs Fucking Robots: it’s exactly what you’d expect, you sicko. Probably NSFW.


Soft Paws: stunned, I am.

Wizrocklopedia: blog about wizard rock. In other news, there is such a thing as “wizard rock.” {via}


This is why you’re fat: oh my goodness. My stomach is churning just looking at some of these pictures.


Feltron Eight: the latest news from Nicholas Felton. His is the exact opposite of “an unexamined life.”


“A two-year-old smoking”: I’d think it was staged were it not for the other pictures in the sequence. {via}


Thats My Face: this is going to be huge within the stalker community.