Status Updates Since My Mother Became My Facebook Friend: suffice it to say, there’s often layers to a good Twitter or Facebook status update.

What Has Been Seen Can Never Be Unseen: oh, that’ll come in handy in the future. {via}

15 Da Vinci War Machines: yeah, Leonardo was pretty badass.

Meet Phineas Gage: this is the only known photo of Phineas Gage; he seems so proud of the iron spike that went through his head. {via}

DropSum: kind of an odd game involving adding lines up to 9 but I just spent 45 minutes playing it so you might enjoy it too. {via}

Things I Learn from My Patient: “Never, ever leave flashlights, shampoo bottles, beer bottles or any long, circular object on the floor because someday you will fall on it and it will somehow, work its way up your rectum.” {via}

You Don’t Understand, You Weren’t There: that dog must’ve seen a lot of action.

Rare Photo of the 1940 Tour de France: hee hee!

Tron Legacy Trailer: thank you, thank you, thank you. I can’t wait to see how they reimagine the Troniverse.

Washing Machine Emulator: it looks like a port of an Atari 2600 cartridge, but it’s probably the best laundry simulator out there. Well, maybe the new beta version is a little better but it doesn’t mess with the basic formula that made the original so delightful.

The Onion: their sense of humor has survived the sale to the Chinese, even if there is a certain anti-American tinge lately.

JK Wedding Entrance Dance: I’m ambivalent about this. On the one hand, it strikes me as a sad example of the exhibitionism of today’s youth and lends a certain buffoonish quality to a serious event. On the other, it’s their wedding and why does it have to start with a staid wedding march. {via}

Fancy Fast Food: reconstructing fast food into prettier forms. The photographs of the intervening steps are very disconcerting.

Virtual Apollo Guidance Computer: now open-source in case you wanted to re-live the 60s and had a Saturn V handy. {via}

“Getting Fat? Blame the Recession”: so if the recession was caused by global warming then global warming made me fat. And if I get fat, then I make global warming worse. That means we are destined to be poor, fat, starving, and hot. *rolls eyes*

Rollercoaster Tycoon 3 – The Massacre: this is perhaps one of the finest uses of simulator-style games.

Rick Roll T-Shirt: this is the best shirt I’ve seen in a while. If anyone wanted to buy it for my upcoming birthday, I wouldn’t mind one bit!

MC Hammer Vader Busts a Move: this has ComicCon written all over it.

Uhh, Weird Asian Photos?: the site is in Russian but the theme is pretty obvious. This collection makes the Japanese (I assume) look both more and less exotic.

26 More Ridiculously Questionable T-Shirts: no links to buy any, but there’s some funny ones in there.

Recovery.gov Contract: now it’s been a while since I bought frozen ham but isn’t $595,600 per pound a little much? Maybe it’ll create a lot of jobs…

“Pizza And Soda? That’ll Be $23 Quadrillion, Please”: this seems like a highly-implausible computer glitch unless you look at it hexadecimally.

E-Mails from an Asshole: is this Pranking 2.0? Guy replies to Craigslist ads with absurd earnestness. Luckily, they’re so over-the-top that I don’t see much harm in it.

“Another Security Tip for Twitter: Don’t Use ‘password’ As Your Password”: I’m am stunned by this. I apply 100 times that level of rigor with my own personal passwords.

Eternal Moonwalk: I could easily watch this for far too long. Here’s Go Daddy’s contribution.

Helen Keller Simulator: you need to make it full screen for best results. There’s also a copycat out there.

Train vs. Tornado: if you want to fast forward, the denouement is at 1:09.