Rapid-fire, funny article linkage to follow:
- Injured Boy’s Family Blames Walgreen’s: Walgreen’s mistakenly filled a boy’s Ritalin prescription with methadone aka synthetic heroin—woops!
- Man Poisons Reservoir: A Chinese water-purifier salesman poisoned a local water reservoir to get over a sales slump—I guess the Chinese haven’t quite gotten capitalism down pat yet.
- Brothers Drown in Underground Pipe: Two brothers decided to SCUBA dive in an underground pipe and died, posthumous Darwin Awards are forthcoming.
- Four Print Counterfeit Million-Dollar Bills: 500 were circulated? 500 were circulated! Who’s that stupid?
- Robert Frost’s Home Vandalized with Anti-Recall Graffiti: I hope the vandal wasn’t hoping to influence the election since Robert Frost’s home is in New Hampshire. Maybe he was on vacation…
- Teenager in Trouble in Inhaler Incident: A high school guy helped his girlfriend, who was having an asthma attack, by letting her use his inhaler; he was arrested and suspended, of course.
- 15 Ft. Godzilla: Made of popcorn. Wha?
- AFLAC Billboard Prompts 911 Call: People are so dumb; we had a lady call the fire department because our heating system at work was producing steam.
- Two Arrests Made in Illegal Gambling Case: Months of undercover surveillance were needed to bust a candy shop that had and sold no candy? Is this detective makework? Is the Raymond, NH precinct unionized?
- Woman Dies on Drawbridge:Let’s see, Thursday night. Did the bridge tender have a TV? Was he watching Survivor? Busted!